Passive Aggressive Behavior
by Beyondthebounds
Summary: Never keep emotions bottled up, and if you have to ask why, read this.
1. Passive Aggressive Behavior

"I hate my life." Pam said, slamming her palms down on the sides of the keyboard. The computer froze again. Not that Pam was ever one to complain, but it seemed kind of unfair that she had to deal with this computer from prehistoric times, while Michael was, at this very moment, admiring his new desk from Tuscany.

"I hate it when he does that to me!" She told the camera. "I know that hate is a strong word but .." Pam began to look down and pull at her wool sleeves. She looked up finally, her lips firmly puckered and eyes watering. "No, no! I do! I .. do .." She began to hesitate, but quickly tried to convince the camera, _and herself_, that this was worth hating for. "He just .." Her cheeks filled out and went red, almost exploding. "-does that, he just tells me there's no money in the budget, and then gets himself big, expensive, mahogany wood, and then you know what he has _the nerve to do?" _She asked, rhetorically. "He brags about it, _in front of me."_ She leaned back her lips once again puckered, and shook her curly head.

"He-_heey._" Michael said leaning out of his door way. "Anyone wanna see my new desk? Anyone? How 'bout you bob?"

Bob had been the unfortunate person walking by at that moment. Bob hesitated and pointed to his desk, to suggest he had work to do. His mouth was opening and closing like a fish.

"No come on!" Michael said with a boyish grin, ushering Bob inside.

Pam puckered her lips at the sight of Michael inside, waving his hands in a circle around the desk.

The phone rang, and Pam closed her eyes, sighing, for just one ring, then picked up the receiver. "Hello," She subconsciously grit her teeth as she talked. "How can I help you?"


	2. Depressed Behavior

"So, Pam my new desk, you like-y, yes?" Michael faked an accent, rolling his arms over the mahogany desk.

Pam's lips unconsciously puckered and her eyes widened.

"Yes," she said, forcibly, without looking at the thing. "It's quite .." Her neck turned in rebellion as she forced out the word, "-nice."

"It so is!" His stretched grinning mouth replied. "It's so executive, with it's shine and glow."

Pam's eyes squinted a bit at this comment. "I am so happy for you," She gritted.

"It's so smooth" Michael said, lying across it, eyes closed. "I can almost fall asleep on it, it's like a cloud from heaven." His eyes suddenly flashed open with an idea. "Pam! Pam! You gotta feel it!"

"Um.. No I don't-" Pam shook her head, horrified.

"Nonsense! Touch it!" He smirked. "You know you want to, just _feeeel_ it." He exaggerated, running his hand across the desk.

"No, I don't want to, and this conversation is making me very uncomfortable." Pam said, her hands out in protest.

Michael grabbed her hands without warning dragging her to the desk unwillingly, as she pulled against him saying 'No, no ..'.

Finally, he slammed her hands down on the desk, moving them in a zig-zag motion.

"So smooth, right?"

She looked at him with her pupils black with hatred, her lips barely visible. The desk _was _smooth and that only made her angrier. However, he didn't notice this.

"It's so good, isn't it? Smell it! Smell it!"

Michael leaned in to get a whiff of it, while pam took the chance to snatch her arms away.

"Yeah, I'm just gonna go .. Now."

Pam turned and hopped on her heels to leave, which was meant to be a run.

Michael turned. "Aw, come on, pam! Pam!"

However, Pam was already slipping back into her desk chair and pretending to take a call.

"Sometimes I just wish he could feel what I feel." Pam told the camera. "I mean, it's like he's doing it on purpose," She bit her lip, giving a quiet pause. Then she remembered the cameras were there. "-but I know he's not, of course not It's like, I can't look away, he's always there .. with it!"She looked away for a second.

Pam was watching him through his window, loving his new desk, until a piece of crumpled paper hit her on the head. She looked around, until she found Jim waving with a smile. She reached down for the paper. She unwrapped it, only to find one word; 'Hey'.

When she looked up, Jim was already there, leaning against her desk. "So, what's your new obsession with Michael?" He whispered.

Pam's mouth opened and closed, dry of a response.

Jim put out his hands "Wait."

She stopped.

"Let me guess, you're madly in love and leaving your fiancee` for him?"

She cracked a smile. "Shut up."

Then when she punched him on his arm, he only grinned wider.

"Seriously, what's the deal?"

Her smile fell. "Oh, well, it's nothing really, it's his .."

She paused, looking back at Michael.

"-his tie!" She blurted without warning. Her eyes grew wider, as she processed what she had just said. "So annoying don't you think, wearing green like that with a dark suit?"

"I know, I know," She pleaded with the camera. "I lied. I didn't mean to-!" Her face twinged into a painful twist. "It just happened. I didn't want to sound you know .." She rubbed her arm for warmth, trying to look away. "-selfish. It's wrong, and and-" She put her hands out in a bobbing motion, trying to appear logical. " It is _my responsibility_ to just deal with it, and at the end of the day, it's what needs to be done." Pam kept nodding to herself, and turned to the camera, continuing the action. "Yeah, I can handle it."


	3. Frustrated Behavior

"Everyone, this is for real now! This meeting is extremely important, because-" Michael wrote 'important' on the writing board. "-it is important-" He paused to underline the word. "-for us to find the correct color for .."

Everyone in the conference room was extremely bored, but Michael took this as awe.

"Wait for it." He grinned, his arms stiffly out, like the gravity was too strong.

"Wait ..." He rose his hands like an orchestrator, rising on his toes. .

He came down, breathing out, "My executive desk."

The room filled with groans, because of course, _everyone _had heard about it, and again, of course, because _everyone_ had been individually herded into his office, one by one, to view the new desk.

A small arm rose from between the crowd, imitating a little plant. "Um, do we really have to talk about thi-" Pam asked, quickly cut off.

"Do you mean to tell me you dragged me off the phone for this?" Stanley asked, gruffly. He was slouched in disbelief.

"Hey, Hey, Hey! I am shocked," Michael put a hand over his heart and feigned impact. "My desk is a symbol of our company, and it is a compliment on all of you." He pointed around the crowd.

"That's right! Not me, you! And you are important to me, which makes this desk-" He said, quickly shuffling his hand around the word written.

"Paint it? It's mahogany, why would you do that?" Spoke an annoyed Meredith from the back.

"Well," Michael replied, looked down and fumbled with his fingers. "You know-" He pointed, getting a second wind. "I just thought it would be a cool thing to do. I mean," He laughed, spreading his arms out wide. "Who paints mahogany, right?"

"I'm leaving, this is stupid." Stanley muttered, hunching up to leave.

"Aw, come on Stanley," Michael pleaded after him. "Stan, come o- Stan, Stan my man."

Stanley was long gone.

"You know what? We don't need him!"

However, Pam, and then everyone else quickly shuffled out the same way, with an annoying voice at their backs.

"Okay, no matter what I try to do," Pam said, heatedly, to a camera. "He is _always_ bringing it up, and I have tried to ignore it, I _really_ have, but he still won't let it go. He had a meeting about it, _a meeting_." She said, slowly articulating. "I can't help but feel .. well, annoyed." Her lips tightened as she wrapped in her shawl. "I - know it's not right but - it's just not fair."

Pam slapped the side of her computer for the fifth time, screaming, "Work!" It didn't help. It had been frozen for seven minutes, _she had counted_. It was fine though, she convinced herself. Working overtime isn't so bad.

Everyone had left except her and Michael, and it was all due to a computer that made her so behind in work.

"Hello?" A man in uniform had opened the front door halfway, in his other hand was a bucket of paint.

Almost immediately, Michael popped out of his office with a huge earsplitting smile, and ran to them.

"_Heeeey_ guys, I'll show you where it is."

Michael practically pushed him inside, and again Pam watched, as he did the desk routine once more.

"Alright," Waved Michael to the guy, "I'll be leaving." He grabbed his coat and gave Pam a cheery goodbye.

She tried to be courteous and nod, because it had seemed, her ability to speak was gone.

Pam glanced back at her sad computer which was no longer frozen at the moment, and then at the desk which was being polished blue.

She did something Pam would never do. She took action.

"Um, hey." Pam said, leaning into Michael's doorway. "That blue is looking really nice, but Michael just phoned to tell me he changed his mind. He wants pink."

The man looked up with a blank expression. "Really?"

"Yeah," She replied, pulling on her sleeve to distract herself from the lie. "He wants neon baby pink."


	4. Unexpected Behavior

"Oh my-who di-! It's pink!" Shouted a muffled voice Pam knew to be Michael's behind glass.

Pam smiled, continuing to type on her old computer.

"I know I did the wrong thing." She had told the camera a day before. "But hear me out," She pleaded. "I've been under a lot of pressure and it's like the desk just rubs it in. Now I-" She paused, finding the right word, while fiddling with her clothes. "I know it's not an excuse, but it's just gotten too far, and I did it. I can't take it back." Her lips puckered again. "I know it was wrong b-but he deserves to know what it feels like to be me!" She cried, putting her hand to her heart, eyes watering. "A-and I'm glad-" She spoke abruptly, leaning back in her chair, and almost smiling. "-because now he'll know a day in the life of Pam."

"It's pink!" Michael repeated again, after opening the door.

"It's a ugly shade too." Smirked Stanley, jiggling from repressed laughter.

"Shut up, Stanley!" Michael yelled, pointing at the laughing man. "You lost the right to talk about the executive desk when you walked out of the meeting! That's right," Michael bobbed his head, pretending to be cool. "Don't we feel stupid now?"

Stanley, in fact, did not feel stupid.

"They're a bunch of crazies," Stanley said to the camera, his lips flattened. "I have to see them five days out of seven, you know how much that is?" He asked rhetorically, leaning in. "A lot." He shifted back away from the camera, and began to mutter, "Stupid pink desk, he thinks I give a-"

"It's pink!" Yelled Michael, to an unfortunate Meredith, coming out of the bathroom. "Pink!"

"Oh hey," Meredith replied, looking at it. "Looks good."

Michael blinked and stared at her, and then turned back to the desk, examining it.

"I-I guess it does look bright .." Michael began to smile. "You really think it looks good?" He asked Meredith, leaning his neck on his hand.

"Yeah!" Shrugged Meredith with a pout.

"I mean," Michael said with a grin, and shrugged. "Really?"

"Totally," Meredith replied. "It's a good spring color, I want a desk like that."

"Well," Michael laughed, "That is why .. it is the executive desk." His chest was puffed out, as he dragged Meredith inside to show her all the angles.

Pam watched from behind her desk, lips puckered, jaw shut, and eyes widened. She clicked her fingers around the mouse in her hand.

Throughout the day, Michael invited random people to view his desk, stating with a laugh, "I know, pink right?" He pretended his head was expanding as he said, "It just came to me, like, you should pick pink. It's so cool! And chic! And awesome!" He shrugged, pretending to be a bit humble as he added, "I guess I just have this sense of ingenuity that can't be quenched." He sighed.

Pam was biting her lips until they bled, her shoulders rigid, as she continued to try and focus. She drowned out the compliments, the bragging, the laughter. However, she couldn't stop herself from watching Michael in the corner of her eye, posing on it, putting his feet on it, and even kissing it, here and there.

"I. Hate. That. Desk." Pam stated to the camera, her voice trembling. Her eyes were a watering red and puffy, and her lips were nascent. "He-He-" She waved frantically to describe, and finally gave up, crossing her arms across her sweater.

Pam knocked hesitantly on Michael's door, determined to speak her mind.


	5. Obnoxious Behavior

Pamela pulled on her sleeves anxiously as the silence subsided. Maybe he hadn't heard her? She knocked again, harder this time.

"Come in, faculty slave of the darker realm!"

Pam hesitated, almost deciding to turn right around, but then decided she had to go in and say what she needed to. She took a deep breath, holding onto the door knob, in preparation, then fumbled in.

Michael spun around in his chair, then gave her a long and hard grinning look.

"Pam," He whispered. "I just love this desk. Let me guess, lemme guess ..." He put his index fingers on his temple and took a deep breath in. "Mmmmm ..." He started to hum. His eyes flipped open. "You want me to let you take another look at it again, right, right?" He giggled and motioned for her to come forward.

"Actually," Pam said, and kept pulling on her sleeves to get up the courage to say, "No."

She blinked, hardly believing she, herself, had said it.

He paused then laughed. "What? Aw, Pam! It's okay, really! I don't mind. I mean, look how nice it feels." He rubbed his arm across it.

He laughed again and spread his arms out in wonder. "I keep telling people, you know, pink right? I'm such a crazy genius when it comes to colors. It just, like came to me in the shower yesterday. I was thinking to myself .. and this is crazy, just listen-" He held his hands out in anticipation.

Pam bit her lip, and tensed up, trying to resist the urge to blurt out every shameful thought running through her head at this moment. However, she knew that would be wrong.

Michael took her annoyance as impatience, which only made him happier.

"I was thinking in the shower of all places-" He continued, laughing to himself. "Pink! Like," He spread his fingers around his head and went, "Pfff-Kaa! Explosion and stuff!" He sighed. "This great idea that came to me!"

Pam took a moment to respond. "You don't say?" A dark tone was underlying this comment, but she felt safe in the knowledge that Michael wouldn't pick up on it.

"I know right? Come on, have one more feel if you'd like!" He waved frantically.

"No." Replied Pam.

"Come on! Pam!"

He was enjoying this, but Pam was getting more annoyed by the second.

"No." She replied, shaking her head.

"Don't make me come over there and get you! Come on-!"

Pams fists fell to her sides. "Michael!" She yelled.

He stopped, his smile falling.

Pam leaned back, realizing she had been overly direct.

"I-I want a computer." She said.

His eyebrows went up.

"With better speed!" She shouted.

"A-and a keyboard that doesn't jam!"

For Pam, this was like a high and she couldn't really stop herself at this point.

"A new one!" She added, pointing lamely with the same amount of direction.

"Well, pam," He chuckled nervously. "This-this is a surprise," He frowned a little, maintaining the smile. "Wh-what brought this on?"

Pam blinked. He was actually asking her? She straightened her clothes a little, and cleared her throat.

"I just thought, that, you know, you get a new desk .."

Pam was coming off her high now, her courage spent.

She mumbled, "so ... I want a new computer."

His face turned serious.

"Um .. Pam .." He laughed a bit. "That's a bit ..." He puckered his lips a little and squinted his eyes. "-Different than this ... you see .. this executive desk .. is a symbol of this company."

"And the computer I do scheduling and place orders on isn't?"

Michael paused for a minute, backed into a very uncomfortable corner.

"Well ... uh .." He fumbled with his fingers, looking down, void of a response.

Pam waited patiently, her lips still invisible to the seeing eye.

"Ble-bli-ga-bo-gu!" The man said suddenly, laughing and motioning for Pam to join in.

"Michael, this isn't-" She was cut off, before she got out the word 'professional'.

"Ble-ble-ga-go-ge!" He shouted overlapping her sentence.

"Michael, I-" Pam tried to get out the words quickly.

"Bleeee-blaa-ga-ga-ge-ge!"

"This is-" She puffed out in anger.

"Bleeeeeeeeeee-gaga-guuuu-li-guu-li-watcha."

It was obvious he wasn't going to listen to her.

Pam sighed in defeat.

"I am a ro-bot." He pretended to malfunction. "P-am-el-a."

When Michael looked up, Pam was already back at her desk taking a call.

"She really tries," He told the camera with a sympathetic smile. "Honestly, it's almost painful to watch." He sighed. "But you know," Michael frowned, almost concentrating. "She'll get over it." He laughed a little, leaning back, and waved around him. "That's Pam, after all. Such a trooper, that one. Really," He nodded, rubbing his index finger across his lip. "She is."

Michael watched her through his blinds, until she caught him staring.

At the end of the working day, Pam was still behind on ordering paperwork. The computer had let her down so much, and no one seemed to mind a bit that she was struggling, because she was Pam. As if that were an excuse. Jim offered his condolences on her staying, but she brushed it off with a nonchalant smile. She, then, watched everyone leave, in a pile, longingly wishing to be with them. Finally, Michael began to put on his coat in preparation to leave too.

"Bye Pam, see you tomorrow." The business man waved cheerfully, heading out of the door.

Pam watched him leave, until there was nothing but silence. Her gaze slowly turned to the only other thing in the room worth watching.

That desk - which appeared to be laughing at her.


	6. Aggressive Behavior

Everyone in the office had gathered around the window.  
"What's he doing?" Kevin asked. He crossed his arms. "He ruined his own desk?"  
Oscar shook his head quickly in a condescending way. "No Kevin, why would he break his own desk? That's absurd."  
Angela played with the fold on the top of her turtle neck. She was peeking hesitantly around them. "I don't know exactly, but it's inappropriate on work time."  
Kevin laughed a little. "And watching him isn't?"  
Her nostrils flared and she walked back to her desk.  
Pam walked in the conference room slowly. "Come on guys, that's enough. I'm sure Michael will come inside soon." She gestured them away with her sleeve.  
"Yeah, okay." Kevin said, getting one last look and walking out the door.  
Pam sighed and pulled on her sleeve, walking over to the window to see it herself.  
Michael was yelling and jumping like a two year old next to a broken pink desk - his desk. His face was red, and it was obvious by his temper tantrum that he wasn't in a good mood.  
Pam fought a little smile, and then dropped it, realizing how wrong it was in the situation. She gave the camera a quick look and scurried away.  
As she sat down in her desk chair, Michael bolted through the door, causing everyone but Stanley to look up. "Who did it?!" He said pointing outward. Everyone just stared at him without response. "I'm serious! My desk is out there - exposed and broken! And I don't think it was the tooth fairy!"  
Dwight tried to move his hands in a calming motion like he was training a horse. "I will get the bottom of this Michael." He pulled up a file from under his desk. "I have a list of what each and every rule was broken in this entire office-"  
"No - Dwight. Don't be stupid!" Michael paused for a moment and took a deep breath, letting it out loudly. "Okay, just whoever did it raise your hand and I promise you won't be punished."  
There was a moment of silence as no one put their hand up.  
"Come on!" Michael stomped his foot. "This isn't funny!"  
"Maybe it was someone from the warehouse." Pam suggested.  
Michael had a flash of regret and he quickly retreated. "Oh ... well ... I wouldn't want to bother them with this ..."  
"Why - I mean if they did it." Jim said, twirling with his pen.  
"Thats not - no, I mean it's not that important of a thing." Michael shrugged.  
"But you loved that desk." Jim countered. "So why not?" He mirrored the shrug.  
Michael froze with a little smile. It was obvious he was backed into a corner, while Jim pretended to be oblivious.  
"Alright then." Michael walked backwards towards the door. "I'm going ... to the warehouse ... to confront Darrell." He peeked forward once he got to the door. "I'm really going." He informed them.  
"I believe you." Jim gave a thumbs up.

Michael was walking around in the warehouse, his head low, planning to ask Darrell, who was known to ridicule him on any given occasion, if he destroyed a pink desk, (which happened to be more of a reason to spread the rumor that he was gay.) Michael was very afraid of Darrell, if not for his stature, but for his popularity with people who were big in stature. Would he admit that? Of course not.  
"Yo Michael." Darrell called, as he walked towards him, Quota clip in hand.  
"Oh .. err ... hey Darrell." Michael shuffled his feet a little, staring at the floor.  
"What are you doin' down here?" Darrell gave a blank look and crossed his arms.  
"Uh ..." He took a deep breath and looked up, not meeting Darrell's eye line. "I was just wondering if you happened to know if anyone had ruined a perfectly good pink desk."  
Darrell stared at him for a few seconds. "Pink desk."  
"Yeah." Michael ran his hand over his mouth. "Do you?"  
"No." He smirked a little. "Which girl had the desk?"  
"Umm ... just - nothing nevermind." He sprinted away in a little run.  
Darrell just shook his head and continued.

"You know what?" Michael said with a little smirk to the camera. "Who cares. I - still have my old desk here," He said rubbing his hand across the brown wood. "And it's -" He paused. "-great." He rubbed his chin. "I don't need an executive desk, it's not even important. You know, this is manly. And - it's colorless yes, but it's sturdy." He crossed his arms. "Yeah, who needs those expensive mahogany ... blaberry."

"  
"Things went back to normal." Pam informed the camera. "Michael never really found out who did it, did he? Huh." She pulled her sleeves and smiled a little. "I wonder who did it."


End file.
